goodbye my sweet sebi

a really long blog in memory of SEBASTIAN ~ march 11th, 1997- september 21st, 2009




as most people know by now, jesse and i lost our dear sebastian a few weeks ago. obviously it was a sad time, but the love and joy over the last 12 years outweighs the sorrow. some of you may think, "it's just a dog", but i beg to differ. sebi was part human... i mean what kind of golden retriever would rather be inside on our laps snuggling than outside playing with a tennis ball and swimming? how many dogs do you know that prefer carrots, bananas, and rice cakes to traditional, delicious dog food? he was a very sensitive little man who desired nothing more than attention consisting of hugs and giant kisses on the lips. with only one working eye, he would stare at me all day long and once i would get over to him, he would smile... literally. sure, he had some dog-like tendencies like hot garbage breath, or extreme fur balls rolling through the house. and he wasn't the most pleasant smelling fellow (ask my college roommates), but man i'm telling you what, everyone knew he was special.

at 17 years of age, my mom blessed me with the best high school graduation gift of all, a golden retriever. most teenagers wanted a new car, a trip to europe, lots of money... not me. all i wanted since i was a young little girl was my own golden retriever. over the years i had wallpapered my room with photos of goldens, hung calendars, subscribed to dog magazines, and decorated with golden retriever pillows and blankets. i wasn't ashamed to show my fondness of the most beautiful, loving, loyal dog breed that ever roamed the earth. stop laughing, i'm serious. high school was finally over, and in 1997 i was rewarded with one little precious, perfect 12 pound puppy whom i chose to call SEBASTIAN.

only a few hours into his new life at our home did sebastian find himself blind in one eye, and a little deformed (due to our confused chocolate lab). the day started off horrific, scary, sad... yet because of the "accident" sebi grew to be the most unique, special, handsome, and lovable dog of all time. from that day on, sebi went with me everywhere. he rode in my lap in the car at all times (until he got to be about 50 pounds), he traveled all over the country with me, and even to the bahamas twice. he loved to sleep in the bed, on the couch, or anywhere right next to me. he was my very best friend. then jesse came along, and took to "mr. sebi" as if he was his own dog. of course that made me happy! we were a little family. hank-freeman joined the family, then sugar... who brought him back to life and gave him a reason to play, wrestle, growl, and bark. they shared the next 3 1/2 years tugging on pillows and stinkin' up the house together.

over 12 years later, i find myself here. to be honest, i kinda didn't think sebi would ever really die. and i don't think he wanted to because he loved me so much; we had a special bond. i'm not boasting, i'm being honest. but this little old man started to hurt and feel uncomfortable... and we prayed and prayed, and knew it was time to let him go. it's been three weeks and the house still feels too quiet, too clean, a little empty, even with sugar and hank still cruising around. i miss that little guy. but we know he is running without pain, able see with both eyes, hear with both ears, chew his food a little better, and actually smell the flowers he always stuck his cute black nose in. in sadness, i constantly remind myself what the Bible says, "every GOOD and PERFECT gift is from above, coming down from the Father" -james 1:16 ...my dear, sweet sebi was such a perfect gift from God that i will always be thankful for!